Love is one of our most important human emotions. It has inspired poetry, art and movies throughout the centuries and it remains one of the most common subjects for discussions in society and in the media. Some psychologists believe that love is an emotion in the same way as happiness or anger, while others argue that it goes far beyond mere feelings.
Whether you think of love as a feeling or an activity, it is likely that you have more control over it than you might think. If you think of it as a feeling, you might conclude that love ends when those feelings disappear, change or are interrupted by something like a move. But if you understand love as a bond that you choose and practice, it might take more than the disappearance of feelings or life changes to break your commitment.
In many cultures, including Western culture, love is considered a virtue or good habit that helps people flourish. For example, some Christians believe that love is a way of seeing and wanting the best for the people in your life. This kind of love might include a desire for the person you are in a relationship with to move toward healthy patterns of behavior, or it might involve a commitment to someone that others find hard to love.
It is not easy to understand and define what love is. There are countless opinions about what it means, and scientists and philosophers have argued over how to describe it. Some scientists believe that love is a primary emotion, while others argue that it is more complex than an emotional response.
A growing body of research suggests that love has at least six different dimensions, including passionate desire and the experience of physiological arousal; companionate affection and the feeling of closeness without the need for physical contact; and self-sacrificing behavior, such as giving up your own health or safety to protect a loved one. Some studies have shown that a person’s love style is associated with their genetics and their personality development and past relationship experiences.
During the Enlightenment, when the ideas of reason and individuality began to spread, the idea of love changed. Love became less about a mystical feeling and more about the kind of bond that you make with another person. This kind of love requires sacrifice and it is often uncomfortable, such as when you have to visit your partner in the hospital or when you have to clean up bodily fluids. But it can also be the most satisfying and meaningful form of love. It is an action that you choose and a commitment to a set of values, such as empathy and respect. And it is a way of seeing the world and other people that can help us to flourish as individuals and as a society. This article was originally published on The Conversation and is reproduced here with permission. Deakin University provides funding as a member of The Conversation AU.