Love is a subject that has captivated philosophers, poets and songwriters for centuries. It’s also a topic that scientists are eager to explore, using advanced brain imaging technologies. Researchers have learned that when we fall in love, there is an avalanche of emotions and biological responses that change the way the brain works.
It’s not always easy to define love, but some of the key components include attraction, attachment and a complex mix of emotions. Many people think of romantic love, but there are other types as well. Some of these include platonic, familial and friendship loves. Depending on the context, some of these may even be more important than romance.
In the beginning, when you’re in a romantic relationship, your brain is overrun with chemicals that create an intense emotional response. Specifically, there is a spike in the neurotransmitter dopamine and norepinephrine. The surge in these chemicals is believed to explain why you feel so intensely about this person. Your mind is also flooded with memories of times you have spent together and why that person holds special meaning in your life.
The giddy feeling of early love can also cause you to focus on the other person and make them your priority. This is a result of the increased activity in areas of the brain involved in addiction, according to a 2017 article in Philosophy, Psychiatry & Psychology. Those feelings can also trigger obsessive and intrusive thoughts. This is a result of elevated levels of serotonin, another chemical messenger that can lead to addictive behaviors.
As a relationship matures, the giddy feeling tends to be replaced with a deeper commitment. The level of the hormone and neurotransmitter oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone,” increases in your body. It is released during sex, childbirth and breastfeeding and helps cement pairings. Oxytocin also contributes to a sense of empathy and social connectedness, which can lead to a greater appreciation for the other person.
This type of love is characterized by acts of service that help the other person. It might be bringing them soup when they’re sick or taking out the trash. It is often paired with strong affection and deep loyalty, as well as respect and admiration.
A love like this can also be complicated by a lack of trust and the need for boundaries. It can evolve or diminish over time, but if you put in the work, it can also last for decades.