For centuries, philosophers and poets have pondered the question of what love is. It’s an emotional and complex topic, but there are some common elements of this powerful feeling. Love is a beautiful thing that can transform our relationships, our world, and even ourselves. It’s an emotion that has inspired countless songs and sonnets, but it also inspires some less-than-awesome behaviors.
We’ve learned a lot about what happens in the brain when we experience love. Thanks to advances in technology, scientists now have a more clear picture of what love looks like inside the human brain.
In the beginning of a relationship, the brain is filled with “love chemicals.” These chemical reactions create feelings of attraction and desire, as well as an idealized image of your potential partner. This idealization can lead to ignoring or dismissing red flags that others may see as warning signs of danger or incompatibility. It’s the reason that so many people fall in love with people who are often not good for them — they believe that their partner will never change and that they can’t live without them.
As a relationship progresses, these chemical processes can begin to fade, and the giddy excitement of falling in love is replaced by a deeper commitment. This is triggered by a drop in the neurotransmitter serotonin and an increase in the cuddle hormones oxytocin and vasopressin. These hormones are released when we give and receive affection, and they help us to bond with the people that we love.
This deepening of a relationship can cause a decrease in serotonin levels, which increases a person’s susceptibility to jealousy. Additionally, the brain’s prefrontal cortex — which is involved in decision-making — becomes more active during this period. This makes it more difficult to see things objectively and can contribute to obsessive thoughts about the person that you love.
At this stage, a person’s need to feel gratified by the attention and praise of their partner may become stronger. Whether they need this attention and praise for their physical appearance, their personality traits or their accomplishments, this is one of the most challenging aspects of loving someone with high needs. It can lead to insecurity and jealousy, as well as feelings of resentment and inadequacy if the person they love is not meeting their expectations.
In addition to these internal factors, love is also influenced by external forces. A union that satisfies general social norms or is accepted by the person’s social network can promote feelings of love, as can a desire to fulfill needs for companionship, sex, and mating.
Love is an emotion that is constantly evolving. It can be mellow and sexy, or it can be awe-inspiring. For example, if you love someone with high needs for affection and approval, it can be hard to see when they are behaving in ways that are harmful to themselves or other people. That’s why it’s important to have healthy communication and a solid foundation of trust in any relationship.