As anyone who’s ever loved and lost knows, matters of the heart can be complicated. So too can love itself, which has a complex history and many definitions. In fact, the word “love” is so broad that it’s often used to mean anything from platonic friendship to a romantic relationship to spiritual or religious devotion. This ambiguity makes it difficult to understand and define love, but also helps explain why it’s so powerful.
Scientifically speaking, love is a chemical reaction in the brain. It’s a mixture of hormones, including adrenaline, dopamine and the bonding chemical oxytocin. It can cause us to become giddy around someone we’re attracted to or to light up with excitement when we see them. Brain scans have shown that areas of the brain associated with reward circuitry, like the amygdala and hippocampus, are activated when we talk about someone we’re in love with.
These reactions make it hard to think clearly or act rationally, especially if we’re surrounded by the people who trigger these feelings in us. This is why it’s so easy to fall in and out of love, despite our best efforts. But is this all that love really is?
Throughout the ages, philosophers and scientists have debated what love is. Some, like Plato, thought that it was a feeling caused by chemical reactions in the brain, others believed that it was a choice to spend time with a particular person. More recently, scientists have started to realize that love is not simply a chemical response but a process of building and maintaining relationships.
Love can provide a sense of belonging and purpose, helping us feel connected to other humans and our communities. It can decrease anxiety and stress, which is why it’s so important for our mental health. It can even boost our immune system and protect against diseases, including dementia and Alzheimer’s.
But to truly stand in love, we must enact loving behaviors. This includes respect, vulnerability, empathy and honesty. It can also include forgiveness and celebrating a person for who they are. And it can include a commitment to supporting our loved ones, even when they don’t meet our expectations.
When it comes to what’s most important in life, people around the world report that their family is their greatest source of happiness. This includes spouses, children, parents, siblings and friends. It also extends to community organizations, places of worship and charity work. Other key drivers of happiness include being physically healthy, having a good job and living near nature. However, in the wake of the pandemic, a few things have become more important than others. For example, more people today are reporting that being forgiven and finding love is a key part of their happiness.