Love is a powerful feeling that inspires us to act, and can manifest itself in countless ways: the bond with our family, the camaraderie of friends, or those butterflies from romantic feelings. It enriches our lives, provides support during hard times, and demands care and understanding to flourish. It can even heal us when our loved ones are hurting. However, what is it exactly? Love is a complex emotion with many different definitions, ranging from lust and attraction to familial and platonic bonds. The concept of love is also highly influenced by culture and personal experiences, with some people believing that only specific feelings can define it.
The Ancient Greek philosopher Plato believed that the essence of love was a feeling, which can be volatile and often out of your control. But this definition of love can be dangerous, because it can create a dependency on volatile emotions like jealousy and longing that can easily lead to infidelity or impulsive behavior. He argued that the best way to protect yourself is by choosing to be in healthy relationships that cultivate positive emotions like empathy, respect and vulnerability.
More recently, psychologists have proposed a variety of human bonding theories that focus on the interplay of different emotional components. One such theory, called the triangular model, suggests that there are three types of love: intimacy, passion and commitment. This model can be applied to any kind of relationship, from friendships to marriages, and it can be used as a framework for analyzing your own relationships.
When we first fall in love, our brains become activated by the hormone dopamine, which triggers a rush of euphoria and excitement. It can feel intoxicating, and we can find ourselves unable to think about anything else except that special person we’re falling for. Over time, that giddy excitement may shift into more of an intimate attachment, which is triggered by the release of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin. These chemicals are released during sex, breastfeeding and during childbirth to promote bonding and encourage attachment.
As a result, this type of love requires patience and a commitment to the long-term goals of your relationship. It also means being open and honest about your needs and wants, as well as listening attentively and remembering details about the other person’s life. This deep curiosity and interest in the other person can build trust, which is crucial to a healthy relationship.
In Hinduism, the word “love” has several meanings, including kama (lust and affection) and prema or advaita (elevated love). The former is devotional love toward God, which can take on various forms, such as bhakti, which involves the worship of deities and is described in works by Tulsidas and other Hindu writers and philosophers. The latter is compassion and mercy, which can motivate you to reduce the suffering of others. In addition to these spiritual qualities, the word “love” can also have a more earthly meaning: the desire for a stable financial future and healthy relationships with friends and family.