A word that evokes all kinds of emotions, from the butterflies of romantic feelings to the bonding with friends and family. Love enriches our lives and provides a source of support in difficult times. Yet it remains a concept that is hard to define. Over the years, researchers and psychologists have debated what love is and how to describe it.
In modern psychology, it has often been viewed as an emotion like happiness or anger. However, some view it as something more akin to a fundamental human drive, much like the biological need for food or water. This idea of love is more akin to the theories of attachment and bonding that Jean Piaget and John Bowlby developed, as well as the notion of love expressed by religions and spiritual traditions.
Psychologist Barbara Fredrickson defines love as a “positive resonance,” which includes shared positive emotions, biobehavioral synchrony, and mutual care. She also says that love is a momentary feeling that expands our awareness of others and of ourselves.
She points out that while liking someone involves physical attraction, loving them is about who they are at their core. It is about how they make you laugh, the way they take care of themselves, their work ethic, and more. When we love a person, we want them to do the best they can, not only for us but for themselves. We are more likely to forgive them when they make mistakes.
A person in love will show their love for a friend or loved one by helping them with problems or making sacrifices to meet their needs. This type of love is a more altruistic form of the emotion, and it may be seen in the commitment of a parent or friend to a loved one who has a difficult habit of self-destructive behavior. The commitment is not simply a desire to help the person break free of these patterns, but also a delight in them as a person.
Some researchers believe that love is not an emotion at all, but rather a complex experience combining various primary emotions. However, this theory is inconsistent with the evidence that shows that humans cannot survive without a love connection with another. Furthermore, the experience of love is not consistent across individuals and cultures.
When you write about love, it is important to show the full range of emotions. You want to evoke the nervousness of a first date, the comfort of a long-term partnership, and the heartache of separation. Readers will more easily connect with your characters if they can see the emotional ups and downs of their own relationships in your story.
Whether you are writing about romance, friendship, or family, it is also important to remember that everyone deserves love. Despite their imperfections and the ways they can hurt you, every person is worth loving. If you find yourself struggling with an unhealthy relationship, consider therapy or seeking counseling to address the issues at hand.