Love is the most complex emotion and a subject of fascination for millennia. Philosophers, prophets and poets have speculated about it. But it’s only recently that science has begun to study it. The fields of psychology, neuroscience and anthropology have contributed to our understanding of this mysterious sentiment.
Researchers and psychologists still differ in their characterization of love. Some say it’s a primary emotion like happiness or anger, while others consider it to be more of a secondary emotion that arises from a combination of other emotions. Either way, it’s clear that humans experience many different types of love, from infatuation to deep loyalty and selflessness.
Most of us have had infatuations — those heady feelings of attraction and excitement you feel around someone new. Over time, those feelings might turn into affection or trust. Then, if you’re lucky, you might reach the next level of love – caring for another person’s happiness and needs as much as your own. This might be the kind of love you feel for a close friend, the kind that makes you willing to give up your own goals and dreams in order to help them reach theirs. Or it might be the kind of love you feel for your child, the kind that leads to heroic acts like giving up a kidney to keep them alive.
There are many kinds of love, and people often struggle with finding the right one. Some people find success with finding a romantic partner based on physical attraction and chemistry, but this type of love is often fleeting. Research suggests that long-term happiness is more likely to be found through finding a person with whom you have a deep connection and shared values.
To build that connection, try focusing on meaningful conversations and exploring common interests when meeting people. You might also try expanding your social circles to increase your opportunities for meeting compatible people.
Once you’ve met that special person, remember to show them that you care about them through “love languages.” For example, people who like words of affirmation want to hear “I love you” regularly and frequently. They also appreciate compliments and other forms of positive reinforcement, such as encouragement and reminders of their worth. People who like quality time want to be shown that you value their presence and attention through activities such as a walk in the park or cooking a meal together.
Lastly, those who prefer acts of service want to be shown that you value them through simple acts of kindness, such as taking out the trash, bringing soup when they’re sick or picking up something they’ve dropped. This kind of love is hard to fake and can be challenging if you’re not used to it, but it can be the most fulfilling and rewarding form of love. It’s also the kind of love that can transform lives, enabling people to deal with their insecurities, overcome fears and pursue their dreams despite hardship.