Love is the desire or yearning for another person. This feeling stems from a central core of intrinsic, indivisible and unalterable values and motivations. Love transcends a broad range of positive and powerful emotional and psychological states, from the highest sublime human virtues or idealism, the strongest personal passion, to the lowest common human enjoyment. It is essentially interpersonal, and is associated with the most natural human motivations of loyalty, affiliation, and attachment. It involves an intense, unyielding bond, founded on similarities of temperament, values, beliefs, and personality – a bond that often transcends differences of race and gender.
The most important feature of romantic love is its intensity. You may love someone for lots of different reasons, but if you don’t have that one overriding factor that makes you feel as though you can’t live without him/her, then the relationship won’t last. Intimacy is the glue that holds the romance together, and it is often the thing that brings two people back to each other again after they have parted. People need love in order to feel understood; they need to know that someone else cares about them deeply. A romantic relationship is therefore all about understanding the other person’s needs and desires and giving that person what they want.
However, even though you may feel intensely close to your partner at the outset of a relationship, this does not necessarily mean that you will remain in love with each other throughout your lives. It is important to recognise that even though you are experiencing a powerful and deep emotional bond with another person – whether that is because of the shared history, your common values and interests, your similar cultural backgrounds, or simply because of some innate similarities – there is always a possibility that these feelings may begin to fade and become less predominant over time. Unless you are deeply committed to one another, you could find yourself falling out of love with each other rather quickly.
You should therefore be prepared to move on from your initial feelings if the relationship has hit the rough patch. Although no-one wants to end a romantic relationship, there is a very real chance that your feelings will begin to change once you realise that the other person doesn’t want something in particular from you. Your first instinct might be to push harder, to become desperate, and to put everything you have into the new partner’s hands. You may also feel angry, resentful, jealous or even angry at the other person for making you feel this way.
The best way to move on is to accept these feelings, and to move on from them. Once these negative feelings have begun to fade, you can start to truly appreciate the person who you are attracted to. Although you still want something in return, you will know that you are in a position where you can say no. If the person you love asks you out again, you can sensibly tell them that you haven’t got around to it yet. You may not want to do it immediately, and it certainly won’t be easy to put off indefinitely, but once you do it you will know that this isn’t a relationship that will define your romantic life. On the other hand, if the person whom you love wants you romantically, but isn’t yet ready to open up their heart to romance then you should think about the benefits of letting them date again.
It is quite possible to have a loving relationship with someone who isn’t ready to open up to romance, but that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try. You may find that the other person really does love you, but you will only know for sure if you let them. If you really love someone then you will go through all manner of emotions that come with love, including jealousy, envy and insecurity. Although jealousy is considered a bad emotion, there are many who cannot stop jealousy even when they are with someone else. If you feel that you could go through all of those emotions with the one you love, and that jealousy is a good friend you should follow your feelings.