Love is a word that is used so often these days it’s easy to lose sight of what it means. Many people believe they have ‘love’ when they really just have lust or a mixture of lust and love. The difference is that in the immortal words of The Purple Rose, ‘I only love you for you.’ In The Purple Rose, Shakespeare wrote that Othello has not yet learned the art of love, and as a result has not been rewarded with true love. This is the true meaning of love, though many people confuse the notion of love with lust.
Love, on the other hand, is quite different. Love encompasses a far wider range of positive and negative emotional and psychological states, from the blissful, intimate bliss, the strongest imaginable personal trait, the most profound interpersonal connection, to the least intimate form of infatuation. True love is not lust or infatuation. It is more complex than that. True love involves feelings of attraction, an emotion that can be strong enough to cause one to move mountains, but that can also be weak enough to lead to a lasting friendship or even a meaningful relationship.
Loving someone comes down to being able to feel deeply for them, to fully understand their needs and wants, their dreams and their passions. It also involves an understanding of the differences between people, and a commitment to treat all people with kindness and respect. All humans need love and friendship and a fulfilling and meaningful relationship will foster those feelings and create a well-balanced emotional state. Those who are deeply in love will be happy and contented – physically and emotionally. They will have positive relationships with others and will be well-nourished in all areas of their lives.
When two people enter into a romantic relationship, they are creating a deep and special connection. In order to sustain such a bond, two people need to be open and honest with one another about their feelings and desires. Sharing is key to creating intimacy and true love. Sharing one’s deepest thoughts and emotions with another person is an essential part of building a loving relationship. However, just sharing those thoughts and feelings will not result in intimacy.
True love and romance are often fueled by feelings of attraction, rather than lust. Many couples enjoy the feelings of attraction when first beginning a relationship, but they quickly learn that they need to tread carefully because these feelings become an addiction and can become a source of insecurity for both partners. Intimacy occurs when two people develop a close and intimate relationship based on feelings of attraction without any underlying desire to become romantically involved in another person. When one partner is having an affair, that partner is not only risking the potential intimacy of their new relationship, but also their own sense of shame and guilt. Partners who cheat often do so because they do not feel a strong enough sense of attraction to share their deepest thoughts and feelings with another person.
To ensure that your relationship grows to the next level of love and romance, you must establish a loving and intimate bond based on feelings of attraction and desire for your partner. Intimacy should occur naturally over time, rather than being rushed or forced. It usually does not start as a physical relationship. Physical touch can sometimes signal the start of a physical relationship, but it should not be an immediate focus for either partner. In order for your relationship to grow and reach its fullest potential you must establish and practice your partner’s love language – the love language of feelings of attraction.